chocolate teapot
as much use as a chocolate teapot
useful as a chocolate teapot
useful as tits on a bull
meaninglessness
pile of poo
bauble
inutilitarian
no good
dust
frustraneous
nutil
pants
straw
good-for-nothing
shitey
goodless
not worth a curse
not worth salt
shand
blivit
bobbar
bobar
as much use as a chocolate fireguard
garbo
upter
pile of shit
cyberjunk
drossy
not worth a cress
ineffectual
weed
shit
uselessly
chazzerai
gubbish
gaum
shvantz
busted flush
impertinent
fruitless
good for nothing
schmutter
empty as a pauper's purse
sweet FA
husk
noot
not a sausage
nixes
garbage